Do You Really Know Yourself?
A guide to getting deeply acquainted with the most important relationship in your life, the one you have with yourself.
We spend so much of our lives being who we think we need to be.
Showing up how we think we should.
Wearing hats, playing roles, delivering outcomes.
It’s easy to get caught in the idea that we are our job title, our calendar, or our productivity. That our value is tied to how well we perform, or how much we achieve in a day.
But beneath all of that… who are you, really?
It’s a big question. And it’s one that used to terrify me.
The Journey Back to Me
I’ve spent the last 15 years learning how to answer that question.
Not just in a journal or during a sound bath (even though those have really helped). But in the everyday, gritty, beautiful moments of work, love, stress, conflict, and healing.
Getting to know myself has been some of the deepest, most transformative work I’ve ever done. And it’s still ongoing - a living process.
It’s meant:
Learning how I process information and make decisions
Understanding my triggers and how stress shows up in my body
Letting go of perfectionism and the pressure to always “hold it together”
Naming what I need in order to feel safe, supported, and energised
And accepting that “doing it all” isn’t the goal — doing what’s aligned is
This work has helped me lead better. Love better. Set boundaries. Repair relationships. Speak my truth. Make decisions with less noise. Live a calmer life - the list goes on.
And it’s helped me build what I now call my Working With Me Guide, a personal user manual for how I work, lead, communicate, and recharge.
It started as a simple way to help my team get to know me during onboarding. But it’s evolved into something much more powerful, a map back to myself.
What’s a Working With Me Guide?
It’s exactly what it sounds like, a guide, written by you, for the people you work with (and for yourself), that outlines how you operate best.
Not just your “work style” in the corporate sense. But your human style.
How you process, lead, learn, communicate, and connect. What fuels you. What drains you. What matters to you.
My guide includes:
My personality type and communication preferences
How I like to make decisions (and how I don’t)
My energy rhythms — when I’m most alive vs. when I need to rest
The kind of feedback I respond to
My boundaries and non-negotiables
My values, motivations, and recent personal context
And, most importantly, what to do when I’m overwhelmed or shut down
It’s honest. It’s vulnerable. It’s not about being “easy to work with.”
It’s about being real to work with, and giving others the tools they need to understand me better.
How I Got Here (And What I've Explored Along the Way)
The guide didn’t appear out of nowhere. It was built through years of inner work, tools, mistakes, real conversations, spiritual practices, and honest reflection.
Some of the things that helped me include:
Myers-Briggs (ENFJ): Helped me understand how I lead and relate to others.
Insights Discovery (Yellow/Red): Gave me language around energy, motivation, and strengths.
Human Design, astrology, and numerology: Offered new ways of seeing myself beyond logic — helped me connect to my intuition and energy blueprint.Attachment theory: Transformed how I show up in relationships (and what I expect from them).
Energy audits: Helped me notice where my energy leaks vs. where I feel most alive.
Journaling, therapy, coaching, feedback, silence, rituals, breaks, nervous system regulation, breathwork, and so much more!
Why It Matters & Why It Works
When we understand ourselves, we stop outsourcing that job to everyone else.
The first time I shared my guide with a team, I was nervous. Would it seem self-indulgent? Would they think it was weird?
Instead, it opened the door to the most honest, easy team dynamic I’d ever experienced:
People started making their own versions.
We had fewer misunderstandings.
There was space for introverted team members to express themselves without needing to “perform” in meetings.
There was language for moments of stress.
There was laughter, realness, and repair.
It changed everything!
Not because it was perfect. But because it was human.
This Isn’t About Self-Help for the Sake of It
This isn’t about becoming “better.”
It’s about becoming more you.
More anchored. More expressed. More honest. More whole.
You don’t need to meditate on a mountain or do three years of coaching to begin.
You just need to get curious.
Here are some simple prompts to start:
What conditions help me do my best work?
How do I like to receive feedback or direction?
What drains me? What restores me?
What do I need when I feel stressed, overwhelmed, or low?
What helps me feel seen, safe, and supported?
Write your answers down. Let them evolve. Share them with your team, your manager, your partner, and watch how this small act can shift the entire dynamic of your work and relationships.
Want Help Building Your Guide?
This is now part of the work I do — with individuals, leaders, and organisations who are ready to bring more humanness into how they work.
If you’re:
A leader who wants to embed this into your team culture
A business that values people as much as performance
Or an individual who’s ready to lead themselves more authentically
I’d love to help you create your Working With Me Guide, something practical, powerful, and personal.
Whether it's part of a team workshop, a leadership development journey, or 1:1 coaching, the process is always the same: gentle, honest, and grounded in your truth.
